sylke speaks

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A Few Days, A Few Years, Twenty Years

Well, the test results came back after waiting ten days….ten days is an excruciatingly long time. I ran my miles, I spent time alone, I looked at my life as an observer and the whole time, I prepared to fight. I had some serious moments of anger, what the hell was this? I lived a healthy lifestyle, I didn’t smoke, I exercised almost every day, I ate healthy and I had been doing this for years. If I had cancer, I was going to be royally pissed. But, alas, I don’t have cancer and now I am simply left with how to live my life in this aftermath of contemplation and fear of the ever present unknown. So, I have decided to perform an exercise I require of all of my students…I am going to write a paper, or a series of papers, in which I speculate about how I would live my life if I had only a few days to live, or a few years, or twenty years. I refuse to begin with the handholding bullshit of asking forgiveness for my wrongdoings. It is so fake, isn’t it? I mean, who wouldn’t give forgiveness to a dying person?So that won’t be my mantra at the beginning of this story, no, I am going to focus on what really would go through a person’s mind if they had only a few days to live, not the preparations, but the unharnessed, cold fear. Do you turn inward? Is it a time to wax philosophic or is it a time to listen to nature, appreciate beauty? I am not sure, but the answer lies in an inward exploration, a mind experiment, if you will. Our human brains have the ability to experience something mentally and know how it might feel or taste or smell like. I can do this….

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This entry was posted on August 25, 2012 by in Living.
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